Wisdom from the Washroom

Look . . . I know this will probably have you on edge when I say that I learned something while I was in the bathroom the other day.  I think we can all agree that sometimes the bathroom is a great place to do some reading . . . and even some serious thinking ( tell me you haven't wondered if the statue known as "The Thinker" was based on someone who had his privacy invaded ).
Anyway, while I was washing my hands in the restroom of one of our fine Jersey diners, a dad and his probably 3 year old son came in while they were in the middle of an in-depth, interesting conversation.  The little boy was trying to make sure he had the facts straight by asking "which one is #1, and which one is #2?"  I couldn't help but chuckle inside just like you are doing right now.
The dad then gave a very simple answer to his boy as they were making their way into a stall as he said "pee-pee is #1 and poo-poo is #2."  Knowing that I was at the sink and grinning in the mirror, the dad closed the stall door in a way that showed that he was hoping to close this conversation.  But . . . the boy wasn't finished yet ( sorry about the image there ) because he then asked his dad "why is pee-pee #1 and poo-poo #2?"  There was silence for what seemed like forever . . . and now I became interested in what kind of answer this dad was going to come up with out of thin air that would make all parents proud of him and ensure his enshrinement in the Parental Hall of Fame.  After gathering his thoughts, the dad said . . . ( drumroll please ) . . . "I don't know, buddy."  And at that point, the source of my grin in the mirror went from humor to wisdom as I was reminded of a very important truth.
Over the years of being a parent and pastor ( particularly one who works with teenagers ) I have learned that often times the best ( and most honorable ) way to answer tough questions is by simply admitting "I don't know."  In life, there are some questions that we just can't easily answer . . . if at all.  Whether tragedy strikes or they are just confused by random trivia, the kids in our lives don't always need what we think are brilliant answers to their challenging questions . . . but they DO always deserve our love, care, honesty and authenticity.
When we try to explain things away with hollow answers, kids have the uncanny ability to see right through them like cheap 1-ply toilet paper in public restrooms.  If you can't give them a quality answer, at least give them the quality assurance that you will walk alongside them as they continue to learn and grow.  Hopefully, the fact that you don't have to be an awesome automatic answer machine leaves you relieved ( sorry, I couldn't help it, that was the last one ).
Faithful love & authenticity are key things that help us develop trust in relationships.  Our faith is strengthened as we go along, learning that we can continue to TRUST GOD in the midst of all of our questions . . . thankful that HE is the one with all of the answers.

Give It a Try . . .

A little while back my sister-in-law posted a saying on facebook that caught my attention . . . something to the effect of "I'd rather live life with a bunch of 'oh wells' instead of 'what ifs?"
What a great challenge to those of us who are not usually big risk-takers.  It can be easy to play things close to the vest and not step out there and give things a try.
I want to take a minute and brag on my family for some cool, recent instances of initiative on their part.  They may not seem like really big deals . . . but they are great reminders to give things a try because if you don't, you may miss out on something good.
A family from our church parted ways with a trampoline not too long ago, and when I picked it up I was pretty sure that it was missing some pieces, or at least some hardware . . . and instructions.  I had been dreading the inevitable task of spreading the puzzle out on the back yard to find out what might be missing.  But, with this week being spring break, our 8th grade son Jonah showed awesome initiative to basically figure it out himself with the help of one of his buddies.  We got a few bolts & nuts from the hardware store . . . and poof, it's good to go.  It wouldn't have happened if he hadn't stepped out and given it a try.  We are so proud of his determination . . . when he sets out to do something, he finds a way to make it happen.
Our 11th grader daughter Makenna has been quietly and selectively looking at potential colleges with a pretty small list in mind.  The opportunity to visit a few more in Virginia with some friends came up and she and Tracy thought "why not?" even though most of them hadn't been on the short list.  Now she has a new favorite at the top of her list because she decided to step out and give it a try.  We are excited for her and proud of the way she is taking ownership of this important process in her life.
And, just last night as dinner time approached, I mentioned that we had been hungry for garlic knots from one of our pizza places . . . and TA-DA! . . . Tracy figured out a way to make THE MOST AMAZING garlic knots that we have ever tasted.  I am always proud of the initiative that my better half displays . . . and her ability to go for it and make things happen.  She may once in a while have some "oh wells" but she rarely looks back and has "what ifs?"
( if you're wondering how Emily, Jared and I fit in to this post . . . we don't feel left out - we helped inhale the garlic knots ).

What opportunities are before YOU that you have been putting off . . ?  It may be very simple, practical, complicated, relational, professional, recreational or spiritual . . .
Here's what I'm learning - why not give it a try?

Waitin' for the Weekend!!!!

A lot of the things that are happening right now make this one of the best times of the year.  It's feeling a lot like spring with sunshine & temps in the 70s, March Madness begins tomorrow, spring training means that baseball is sneaking up on us, and NFL free agency is in a frenzy.
But this weekend is one that I look forward to all year because it is our time to hang out with around 60 amazing high school students and adult leaders on our annual retreat in the Poconos.
We get away from our routines and enjoy some time having fun, relaxing, decompressing and connecting with God and bonding with each other.  The opportunity to escape from the usual "noises" in our lives and hear God's voice is priceless for students to be able to take the next steps in their relationship with Him.
Eternal commitments will be made, memories will be forged and relationships will be strengthened forever . . . and I am so thankful for a great group of friends who work so hard to help make it all possible.
Sure, the weekend may involve balloon launchers, flying snack foods, buckets, tennis balls, bandannas, blindfolds, night games with glow sticks, very little quality sleep, and an 85 yr old man sharing Justin Bieber song lyrics . . . but that's all a part of student ministry . . . investing in the lives of teenagers . . . living life and having a blast with them . . . helping them to understand God's unconditional love for them . . . showing them what it means to take ownership of their faith . . . and watching His STORYLINE for their lives continue to unfold.  THIS is why we do what we do!!!

Unthinkable . . .

There are some things that happen that just seem to leave you thinking . . . "no way" . . . "impossible" . . . "inconceivable" . . . or "unthinkable."  One of those things actually happened today when Peyton Manning was released and allowed to walk away from the Indianapolis Colts - the team that he resurrected and started every game for in his 14 year career.  The Colts are receiving nothing in return for the 4-time NFL MVP and Super Bowl champion . . . they have just said "thanks" and are moving forward with the production of new #12 jerseys with "Luck" on the back in anticipation of April's draft when they will select their next QB from Stanford.  While the possibility of this move has been talked about for a while, it still seems really weird now that it has actually happened - and ESPN is melodramatically milking it for every last drop.
Today's events have started me thinking about some other things that have happened that have left me thinking "no way" . . . "impossible" . . . "inconceivable" . . . or "unthinkable" . . . like:
- Brett Favre with a team other than the Cheeseheads - especially when he ended up in Purple ( and then with a purple ankle because the Saints were dirty - #bountygate )
- 41 years ago, a couple of 16 year old teenagers made a commitment, with the love & support of their families, to get married, and to raise their baby who was on the way . . . bet you can't guess who that bundle of joy was.  Against the odds, to this day, they have a blessed family to show for it
- Tracy said "yes" to me 21 years ago
- God has entrusted us with the 4 most amazing kids on earth
- our wonderful church allows me the privilege of ministering to the students & families of our community
- I get to work as part of a great church staff, and with a faithful team of studentLIFE leaders who are dear friends

The list could continue for quite a while . . . but I'll just skip to the biggest head-scratcher of all - and this is it . . . the fact that God humbled and sacrificed Himself for me (us), to "demonstrate His love" ( Romans 5:8 ) for me (us) so I (we) wouldn't have to remain separated from Him.

So, even though the "unthinkable" separation of Manning from Indy today is pretty big news . . . the biggest news of all time - God's unfailing, merciful and open-armed love is available for everyone - deserves the headline every day . . . and I'm so thankful that the "unthinkable" actually does happen.

An Extra Day . . .

Happy 29th birthday . . . to my Great-Grandpa . . . who was born in 1896!  He was a leap day baby who only had a REAL birthday when February 29 came around once every 4 years.  I remember him sitting on his couch while being interviewed by a local news station in 1980 on his 84th birthday as he was turning 21 and was finally of legal age.  He explained with frustration that since there is no leap day on the turn of each century, in 1900 when he should have had his first REAL one, "they skipped it" and his first Feb 29 birthday wasn't until 1904 when he was 8.
While it may seem unfair that people get ripped off and short-changed when it comes to their birthdays being skipped regularly, it's really no big deal to celebrate on Feb 28 or March 1.  On the other hand, I've heard people talk about days like today that come around once every 4 years like it's more special than others . . . some type of bonus or "extra day" . . . like what are you going to do . . . how are you going to spend your "extra day"?  I can't help but be reminded that each and every day we get to wake up to is a blessing and an extra day that God has given us by His grace.  Yes, February 29 might be a unique day on the calendar . . . but what if we consciously viewed each and every day as an "extra day" and lived it to the full?  Let's make the most of this gift of life that God has given us by using it to love Him and love others.
Grandpa Borg would have been 116 today . . . and with the type of wisdom that great-grandparents can give - like "don't drag race with your Chevette" - I think he would suggest that we don't take any of our days for granted.

Tuna & Other Sacrifices . . .

It's Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent . . . a time of fasting,  prayer and reflection leading up to Easter.  It's a time in which many people will give up certain things as a sign of repentance or sacrifice in honor to God.   A lot of people use it as a time to work on their relationship with God as they follow the example of Jesus' 40 days of fasting and prayer in the desert before He began his public ministry.
Around this time, it's always interesting when people start talking about what they're "giving up."  Some of the more common items that you hear being sacrificed are: sweets, junk food, smoking, drinking, or maybe swearing.  This is no news flash - I know I'm about the one bazillionth person to point out that these are things that really aren't good for us, and we should do without them anyway.  It's not just the "don't need them" category, either . . . what about the "don't want them" column?  For me, I could be making a bold declaration to give up tuna ( which about makes me gag just typing it ) but it would be meaningless, since it looks & smells like cat food, I can't stand it and it would be of no cost to me.
So what should we be doing to show our devotion to God?  Here's how I am being challenged: in 2 Samuel 24, King David said he would not sacrifice to the Lord that which cost him nothing.  Sure, my list of "off limit" items could include luxuries like caviar, and things I really don't care for like . . . caviar, but that would be a sacrifice that cost me nothing.  When we read Psalm 22:1-18 and Isaiah 53 we are reminded of the incredible sacrifice of Himself that Jesus made for us, and how they clearly show the extent of His full commitment to us.  If I am trying to show my commitment to God, it seems only fitting that my sacrifices for Him are meaningful, ongoing, and show that He is my top priority.  That seems to be what Jesus is teaching us in Matthew 6:33, when He tells us to put Him first and allow everything else to fall into its place.  This is what I'm being challenged to do: to show my commitment by my priorities - not just today as we begin Lent, but every other day as well.

Have To or Want To?

Whew . . . we made it!  Another February 14th has passed by and along with it, in one way or another, the romance and/or angst experienced by just about everyone - whether spoken for or single.  I couldn't help but once again notice the wide-ranging expressions of gushing jubilation and sad frustration that Valentine's Day ( or Single Awareness Day ) brought with it.  But even if you weren't acknowledging S.A.D. and you are in a relationship, there was the full spectrum of status updates on Facebook - from the squeals describing the semi-truck load of roses & chocolates delivered . . . to the "gee, thanks for the generic card" reactions.  It has almost become like a 2-month early precursor to Tax Day on April 15 because your perspective on it depends on if you owe the IRS . . . or if you will be getting a big fat refund ( or a measly generic one ).
Some people have a wonderful time celebrating with the love of their life - Tracy and I got to spend the afternoon in NYC going to the "free" David Letterman Show ( and briefly getting on camera in the audience ).  Some people would have rather just skipped ahead from Feb 13th to Feb 15th.
The debate over whether this holiday is a conspiracy perpetuated by companies like Hallmark & Russell Stover will continue to rage throughout time, but celebrating love ( which 1 Corinthians 13 says...is patient, kind...does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered...keeps no record of wrongs...does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth...always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres...and never fails ) should not carry with it the unnecessary pressure of "I HAVE to do something" instead it should be "I WANT to do something" to show it.

P.S. - I am probably going against some kind of "Dad-of-teenage-daughters-code" here, but I have to give props to the boyfriends of our 2 daughters.  They did pretty well on Valentine's Day - Struan took Makenna out to see a movie . . . and even though Chris had to work until late at night, he still brought over a dozen roses for Emily.  So, to Struan and Chris I say . . . well done, and you've earned yourself at least another week of hanging out with our girls.